Right ! No more cr*p about Hydrogen production then!

Just because I`m keen in the subject at the moment (I do have a short attention span though, and get bored easily) I shouldn`t really bore everybody else with it so from now on I shall not mention it again.

Recently I "aquired" a new (to me) Blackberry touch phone? Mmmmmmmmm My old phone has a curly wire and a "cinder block" sized battery attached so it was time, I have now relegated that, to holding the dingy steady whilst I`m fishing from her :o)).

Looking at it initially, it is quite smart and very smooth and I shall no longer get the curly lead and the hand-set stuck in the car door, a real embarrassment for my wife, who after I had shut the handset in the door with the battery on the pavement at my feet as she drove off, she was brought to a stop by a following vehicle flashing her, having wiped out half of the lamp posts in a fifty yard strech of pavement, with the cinder block battery, flailing about on the end of the cable, sure I got it replaced under guarantee, I just lied, saying that it was a bad design and a liability (more likely that I was the liability) the car was a write off by the way!



I don`t have all those buttons on mine its just black glass! :o))


So this glassy, black, smooth (slippery) item is now encased in a belt holster with a clip and a short tether on it so it won`t drop into the water, as I get on and off the boat (will it catch in the car door I ask myself? I don`t think so?)

I duly attempted to charge it up, as you do, and it won`t charge I checked the charger and replaced the battery and it wasn`t that so off it goes to the repairers who after three visits finally believe me that it isnt the battery or the charger and are as experts now able to repair it! Now its charging and just the beginning of my problems.

My previous mobiles have all been very simple and I am told that this is simple too, Wrong!!!!! its me thats simple! sure I felt that it was time for me to move into the 20th centry (not the 21st as I`m not ready for that yet) but a Blackberry ? Mmmmmmmmmm. So I decide to phone a friend and all goes well (I get it out of the holster) but there are no numbers to push???? ( keyboards missing) MMMMMMMmmm I push a few buttons (as you do? its simple after all) Nothing!!! and now even the little red flashing light has gone out? Mmmm! I`ve switched it off (Pillock!!!) I think I should read the manual? Nah!!!!

Ok so I`ve now managed to switch it on again and find the keyboard, and so I start to dial a number, It suddenly becomes brutally obvious that I actually have a number three size keyboard (touch-screen) and number ten sized fingers (or I`m just clumbsy, which is more likely) and I spend ten minutes trying to phone a friend, ending up being totally unsuccessful as I switched the phone off again, instead of sending the call! Dohhh!

So again I switch it back on and its back into the belt holster and I go about my business, somewhat dissapointed that I can`t immediately e-mail or surf the net, or even make a blo*dy phone call yet! :o((

Walking along the pontoon feeling very much like John Wayne, with my hand tooled leather "real" blackberry holster (with auto "battery save magnet" strap attached) When suddenly my hip starts to vibrate and I jump a foot in the air, realising that I am getting an incoming call! Bach`s, Toccata and Fugue in D minor, organ, Now blurts out, so loudly that those in the marina all start looking around for the "disco boat" to chuck things at (a usual occurance) and I grab for the now unfamiliar magnet catch to release the phone and answer it. In panic, not wishing to miss my first recieved call, I start by not being able to sort the magnet catch out, when I do finally get the phone out of the holster, it is (being modern shiny and smooth) suddenly airborne and totally out of my grasp.:o((

I fumble and search for it and its now about five feet away from me and on its way into the water! I dive across the pontoon, in the direction of my boat, after it, and manage to catch it before it does so, just as it ceases to call/ring ( I guess dear old Bach has got tired waiting?) I finally slide the last foot on my stomach as the inertia of my, quite spectacular dive, departs and my head impacts with the side of my boat with a loud thump, I fumble some more, and with a sore head and a round of applause from the "Meercats" (my name for those unseen charcters on boats who you never see, until something goes wrong and then the heads pop out like the meercats from their burrows) I stand up, take a bow and with a meak Ta! Da! and the Blackberry now firmly in my pocket, I with great embarassment, sneak on to my boat to recover.

I sit in the saloon dejected and wondering if I have done the right thing and whether or not to progress with the blackberry, the window is open and there is a great temptation to dispach it to the phone heaven in the sky! (the drink) but as I raise my arm to do exactly that, it rings again and I just happen to press the right button to recieve the call, and its from a friend in the marina who saw it all and just wanted to congratulate me on my "startling phone recovery" to which I replied! "you should see me now! believe me I haven`t recovered yet!"

I am duly invited to his boat for "a brew" and just as I am about to, somewhat cautiously, leave my boat it "rings" again" (mental note to find the volumn control and change the "tone" as much as I love Bach!) and another inhabitant of the marina has called and starts by taking the p*ss regarding my ineptitude at using a modern phone, I reply "yeah whatever"! taking it all in fun and put the phone down, and it rings again, and yet another spectator (meercat) rings me and jokes about my capability. I recieve about two hundred calls (well 5 actually it just seemed like 200) calls and when I finally get to my mates boat the tea is cold.

Soooo!!!! I can now answer calls, Making them might take a little longer and I now have "Air on a G string playing" as the "call" which my friend refers to as "tinkle on a thong"! Ahhhhh the joys of a new (to me) phone! with hand tooled leather blackberry holster(with auto "battery save magnet" strap attached):o)) In closing I`m building a flash-back arrestor for my hydrogen system so I shall have better luck, I hope, with that :o(( sorry I just had to mention it, tee heee! :o))))