We went to stay in the New Forest ( so called as the existing Oaks were cut down and used to build the British Navy in the Sixteenth Century) with some old friends of ours and in the morning after we arrived my mate went off playing golf and as I hadn`t taken my club (I only have one a seven iron and some spiked boots) I went swimming with his wife " dorothy"at the local Spa.
Having done all my huffing and puffing up and down the pool for thirty minutes (totalling about a hundred meters in all) I reclined in the empty and vast Hot tub about ten metres away and waited for my friend (Dorothy) to finish her swim and join me, I sat humming to myself and thinking that life is good and started to read the notices. As I got to the Red Danger one associated with the use of the hot tub, "Do" appeared and started to climb into the tub. She saw me looking up at the Red danger sign which basically said "Anybody who has had an A.V.R" which I have had! should under no circumstances use the TUB, as I guess, there is a risk to life and limb by so doing?
We both read the same bit at the same time and "Do" (by now standing waist high with me lying in the tub) started to loudly shout at me with all urgency "get out! Robin, now"- " Do as I say"- "Get out now"- "Get out" and then started to try to assist me to get up and to push me out of the tub as well!
Well as you can imagine with her in full voice ( like a Seargent Major, even though she is only knee high to a P*ss-pot ) and me scrabbling to comply, the whole swimming pool community( some sixty people) came to a stand-still to watch exactly what the old guy had done to the lady to deserve such a roasting? Eventually with much disgruntled explanation to her that everybody was looking and wondering what I had done and that their imagination was probably running riot. I scarpered off to the mens changing room as red faced as I could possibly be.
I exited the pool by the fire exit feeing like some sort of a Pervert, to be met by "DO" in her car for the trip home. We laughed all the way back ! I got the impression that this sort of thing never happens there and it somewhat brightened up, the lives of the other patrons. We still dine out on the story. It couldn`t happen to a nicer guy! eh?
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2 comments:
That's hilarious, Rob! I can just picture it. I promise to turn the hot tub down to a reasonable temp for you, should you and the missus ever come visit out here (and if I can get you away from Liz and Jack for a moment in that case!).
Ahhhh! thats nice Jamie thankyou I would love to visit! and as for the hot tub, you probably wouldn`t be able to get me out of there!!!!!:o))
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