Stupidity (My version)

The season before last (yeah right!) I started to read a blog or was it more years than that which I care to remember? In which its fit young writer always rode a cycle as a means of local transport. I had a somewhat now rusty old mountain bike which I kept in the marina cycle rack, and hadn`t ridden for ages, so I dsecided that, as bike riding might just help with my fairly low fitness levels, I would ressurect it, clean it up, oil the chain etc and start to get fitter? So I took it back onboard with the view of doing just that. It sat there for another month out on deck in the constant bad weather (which Mud island is renown for) and one day, rather suddenly and without giving it much thought, I decided that I would use it to quickly go up to the marina office to "row" about something ( as one does?).

I was all fired up for some reason at the stupidity contained in their latest letter, I slammed my cabin door, grabbed the poor bike and slung it unceremoniously off the deck and onto the pontoon in a rare fit of pique. I jumped onto it and rode off up to the office! or not?????? beacause, as I got to the point of turning left off my finger (pontoon) and onto the pontoon proper) I braked and nothing happened, my reactions were not what I remember them to be as I tried to put my feet down to stop and I shot across the body of the main pontoon and on up the short (finger) pontoon across the way from mine.

My accelleration was obviously more explosive than my thought train and after what seemed like an eternity of trying to walk like a duck to slow my forward motion (I thought I breifly had my feet down right at the end of the pontoon, obviously I didnt !!) I finally ran out of pontoon. As I looked forward I could see the surface of the water coming up to meet me, I was off the saddle by now and my momentum had been far too great and beyond the point where I thought I had finally managed to "stop". My somewhat top heavy body was still propelling forward and I was actually in mid air (all be it for a split second or two) Both myself and my prized bike continued their conjoined journey forward and on into the grey, cold, wet, Marina.

As you can imagine my startled yell of Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!! As my totally uncontrolled, multi speed, demise slowly and finally unfolded, caused quite a few concerned " meerkat type" glances from the local marina populace, more used to the cry around the marina of " help" than my version, came to my aid.

With the short finger pontoon now nearly dipping into the water from the weight of those standing upon it ( I don`t remember seeing a concerned glance as I reached the surface, as they were all laughing at my swearing like a chef who`s trainee had just opened the oven door to look at his prize soufle`s progress) I was unceremoniously dragged out of the water and everybody dispersed back to their boats having had a good laugh at my expense, I was later told that one rescuer, as she ran to my aid, had exclaimed loudly "Oh my God !" and the wag next door replied "No he just thinks he is!"

Having confirmed to all that I was OK and thanking them for their concern, telling them not to worry as I always do this on Friday the thirteenth :o)) I went back to my boat somewhat damp and dejected, where I cooled and dried off, I don`t remember ever having sorted out my "Ruck" with the marina to this day. :o)) or retrieving my bycycle, for that matter.

I now have roller blades!!!!!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! what can possibly go wrong? having already had a spell in A&E as a result of their use, I too ask myself that question ! Mmmmmmmmm :o((